Do you ever feel down on yourself?

Look in the mirror and not like your reflection? Or feel so stressed you just want to stay in bed? Or like your life is going by and you’re constantly doing things for others and never for yourself?

We all do. You are not alone.

As women, we constantly find fault with ourselves; our hair “is a mess”, our skin is never good enough, we don’t like our bodies. And we run ourselves down for not doing enough, not achieving enough, and not being enough. Our dreams fade as they’re endlessly postponed for raising our kids, supporting our husbands and helping our parents through their ageing – and we give up on our joy.

As we fall out of love with our lives we also lose the motivation to care for ourselves. We stop looking after our health and our emotional well being.

But that doesn’t mean you have to live like this for the rest of your life.

You are not doomed.

You have the power and the ability to turn it around and start leading your best life, and being your best self, right now. You don’t have to constantly make so many sacrifices for others and your work that your wellbeing and happiness fall by the wayside.

It’s okay to look out for yourself and focus on self-love – in fact, it’s the most critical aspect of your life. We aren’t truly whole or happy unless we love ourselves fully.

And when you love yourself fully, you will feel the most beautiful you have ever felt. And you will radiate it.

Just don’t do this: The worst thing you could ever do is continue to live this way, without truly loving yourself. Your confidence and your happiness will continue to suffer more and more, and with that everything suffers, from your outlook on life, the vibe you give off to other people, your relationships, your love life, your work and productivity, your ability to achieve your goals…and the longer you go on this way, the more damage it will do.

So what does loving yourself really look like?!

You’re probably thinking, “So how do I love myself fully? How can I be my happiest, most confident, strong, emotionally stable, driven and successful self? How do I start loving the reflection I see in the mirror every time I look into it?”.

The answer is at the end of the seven steps of the Love Yourself Challenge.

The Love Yourself Challenge

Now is your chance to love yourself, your life and your body more than you ever have. And finally start achieving the things you’ve always longed for, and living the dreams you’ve always had for yourself.

Here’s what needs to happen: All you need to do is implement each of the seven steps into your life over the next 30 days to start down the path to making this the best year of your life…and continue to make every year the best year yet!

It’s time to create a new set of beneficial habits that will multiply your happiness, your productivity, your self-worth, your confidence, your success, and your overall quality of life. Indulging in a guilty, short-term pleasure every now and then or rushing through a “good for you” activity with your brain spinning endlessly through your to-do list isn’t good enough…if you want to live your best life possible, and truly love yourself, you have to do more than that, and you have to do it often.

Just remember: You can’t keep physically fit without consistent practice – the same goes internally. “Sometimes” doesn’t do anything.

If you’re sick of feeling low and down on yourself, not confident, not beautiful, stressed and overwhelmed, tired and fatigued, and like you never have time for yourself and your own wants and needs…like your life is passing you by and you’re not living to your fullest potential…it’s time for you to make a change.

Imagine still feeling this way five years from now…ten years from now…for the rest of your life?!

It’s time to take action and change your life. It’s time for you to live your life the way you were destined to. It’s time for you to love your life…and most of all, love yourself.

And it starts with challenge #1.

Challenge #1: Do Something You’ve ALWAYS Wanted To Do

It’s time to take care of YOU. It’s time for YOUR dreams to be made real – your passions and your deepest desires to become a reality.

Will there ever be a “right time” when someone doesn’t need you?

No.

So now is the time to do it. The only time. It’s now, or never.

So what’s your secret dream? Have you always wanted to go to Italy? Learn ballroom dancing? Start your own business? Learn a skill? Start a charity?

It’s time to block off your calendar, get out of your comfort zone, start planning, and finally do it. Don’t wait until you physically can’t anymore because of old age. You will regret it forever.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Write down a list of things you’ve always wanted to do but never got the chance.
• Choose your top, deepest desire to do first. Start researching, making calls, and map out a plan of action.
• Explore your network for people who can help guide you.
• Pack your bags, put on your dancing shoes, write up your business plan…and GO DO IT!

The past is a memory, but the future may never be…it’s up to you to make your dreams come true.

And the reverse of this is also critical — STOP doing things that you NEVER wanted to do! Find yourself in a job you hate? Or even looking a certain way that doesn’t feel like the real you? Start doing things for YOU, the way YOU want to do them.

For example, wear a perfume that YOU love the smell of, that triggers positive emotions/feelings every time you wear it…not because of its brand name or status, or because your partner wants you to wear it!

Don’t have a signature, perfect perfume that you love yet? We invite you to try Tiv, the sophisticated, timeless fragrance of the Caribbean. And for a limited time, we’re offering 10% off plus free shipping on your first order! Unlock this special offer here.

Challenge #2: STOP Criticizing Yourself – And Start Saying Affirmations Instead

We often look in the mirror and think terrible things about ourselves. “Ugh, I look awful today”, “My skin looks like crap”, “This shirt makes me look so fat”, etc…

But would you say those things to someone you loved?

Would you talk to your partner, your child, or your parent like that?

Absolutely not!

Why? Because that would be damaging and hurtful, and you love them and cherish them!

So how come we do it to ourselves?!

When you think about it this way, it hits you like a slap in the face. “Wow…I’ve been saying things to myself that I would NEVER consciously say to someone else that I loved. And I’ve been saying them to myself my entire life.”

And suddenly telling yourself to “Stop it” isn’t enough.

We can never stop thinking, but we can learn to change WHAT we think.

Our brains don’t understand negatives – we need to build replacements to use instead. So how do you do this?

By using affirmations to replace your old self-talk.

The amazing wellness author and life coach, Louise Hay, created a beautiful and extremely powerful collection of affirmations which you can find here for free. And they’re not only inspiring but beautifully designed, so you can print them out and put them up around your mirror.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Find a handful of affirmations that are powerful and profound to you.
• Spend time each day saying your affirmations – it might feel silly at first, but after continued repetition, you actually begin to convince your brain they are true. Note: Affirmations are even more powerful when you look into the mirror as you say them.
• When you notice yourself beginning to think negative thoughts about yourself, immediately replace it with an affirmation.

Once you stop criticizing yourself and start complimenting yourself instead, you’ll notice a monumental change in your confidence, your daily mood, and your spirit.

It’s time to talk yourself up, not down – just as you would to someone you loved.

It’s time to finally love yourself.

Challenge #3: Schedule Rest and Relaxation

Scheduling adequate rest during your “low-energy times” is critical.

Why?

Because doing too much and trying to power through these times of your day makes you highly unproductive, burned out, fatigued and emotionally unhappy. And, high cortisol levels (caused by stress) massively negatively affect your brain and your physical health!

The biggest challenge many of us face is making time to rest, especially when we’re so busy we feel like we can never stop going, going, going. But working hard 24/7 and always trying to get things done ISN’T the key to success and a happy life.

The world’s best creatives spend as much (or more) time on rest as they do on focused “work”. Four to five hours of intense, focused thinking is all we can healthily do in one day.

Alex Pang gives some riveting, eye-opening insights into the importance of rest in creativity and productivity – which he learned the hard way AFTER experiencing major burnout in his life.

Here’s the #1 secret: We all have a natural “down time” period in our day – a place in our daily cycle when our energy levels are the lowest. The secret to being the most productive and energized you’ve ever been is to first figure out your down times, then, schedule quiet time to rest, read, meditate, sit in nature, etc during this time. Don’t power through work, errands, or anything mentally taxing until after your energy levels are back up.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Start keeping track of your energy levels on a daily basis. As soon as you start to feel tired or low energy, write down the time it started, and the time your energy levels start to pick back up. Most people have a few hours of “down time” every day. Keep track of this every day for 30 days and you’ll start to notice a trend – at the end of the month, you’ll likely know your “down time”. Try to go this month without caffeine, sleeping pills or anything that affects your energy levels unnaturally, including alarm clocks if possible! At least on weekends!
• Break up your work day (or powering through tasks around the house or errands etc). Schedule no more than 2 hours of intensive work without a break.

Rest is critical for productivity, happiness and success – so make it an ongoing foundation of your wellbeing program.

Challenge #4: Invest in Building Quality Relationships

Good friends matter – A LOT. And not just close friends, but the right friends.

70% of human happiness comes from good quality personal relationships with friends and loved ones. Not a ton of online “friends” on social media – real people in your life who share your interests and concerns.

Most importantly: Your life results directly reflect the people you surround yourself with. So make them people who inspire you, motivate you and put positive energy in your life. You are who you hang out with.

And this doesn’t mean that you suddenly need a packed social calendar, it means that you choose quality over quantity.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Book catch-up with good friends who create positive impact in your life and spend quality time together.
• Do random acts of kindness – be on the watch for 5-minute investments you can make that make other people happy.
• Seek out people who inspire you and motivate you, that you look up to and respect.

Remember… You directly reflect the people you hang out with the most.

Challenge #5: Move Your Body

Without your health, you can’t truly enjoy life. Your health is the most foundational part of loving yourself.

The central nervous system connects our whole body and it all works together – so loving yourself means loving your body.

And exercising your body (along with eating healthily) is the most important aspect of your physical health. Exercise is absolutely vital for human beings, and it’s as important to your mood and emotions as it is to your physical well being. Our bodies were designed to move, yet more and more of life today is about sitting – in cars, at desks, in front of screens…

And it’s killing our health.

But it’s not too late! And it’s not as hard or uncomfortable as you may think.

Don’t be turned off by the word “exercise” – it isn’t just spending time inside a gym. Exercise comes in a myriad of forms, from flamenco dancing to yoga to stand up paddle boarding.

If you need more convincing, be sure to check out this TED talk on what movement really gives you.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Put 30 minutes of movement into your day, every day – whether it be stretching, weight-training, walking, hiking, dancing, indoor rock climbing – anything that moves your body.
• Explore new kinds of movement. Check out the classes at community centers for things you’ve never thought to try.
• Find some fast exercise options to have at the ready when you have short periods of free time (do some stretches or a yoga routine instead of watching TV).

Learn to love moving your body – keep exploring until you find the right form for you!

Challenge #6: Get Crystal Clear On Your Goals

Achieving your goals and manifesting the desires dearest to your heart is the key to leading a fulfilling life.

But your goals and dreams will never become a reality if you don’t get clear on what EXACTLY you want to achieve, map them out, break them down into steps, and start taking action.

The first critical step is getting clear. It’s not just about motivation. When your goals and dreams are clear, your brain actively works to find ways to achieve them. If you’re not clear, they don’t happen.

Once you’re clear, break them down into steps and START TO TAKE ACTION! Don’t let your momentum fizzle out! And be ready for your mind to start playing games with you — you’ll start being bombarded with thoughts like, “Maybe when things are less busy… Yeah, things are way too busy right now, it’s not a good time. I’ll do it later”.

These are completely made-up excuses your mind is generating in order to keep you in your comfort zone, to avoid risk, and potential failure! Your limiting beliefs and self-doubt are trying to swindle you out of achieving your goals and living your destiny. But if you don’t leap, you will never fly. And if you don’t do it now, you will never do it.

Remember: You don’t need to plan everything right now, just the first steps – start with small steps you could take today.

If you’re really stuck and don’t know what you want, then instead write down what you DON’T want – then turn it around to what you DO want.

Some actions to work with on this part of the Love Yourself Challenge are:

• Write your goals down and break them down into actionable steps – the act of putting them on paper and mapping them out step-by-step will massively increase your chances of achieving them.
• Complete the first step of each goal within the next week.
• Create a vision board of things you want in your life – a visual representation of your goals and dreams does wonders to your drive.
• Schedule time each week to review your written goals and your vision board.

If your dreams and goals aren’t clear and mapped out, sure you’ll still get somewhere – but it won’t be to where you truly want to be.

Challenge #7: Find a Creative Practice

Creativity is a basic part of being human. In creativity comes growth, happiness, and self-love.

So your final challenge is to find a creative practice. Use all the learning you’ve done in the Love Yourself Challenge and apply it to exploring your creative self.

It doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be something you show off. It needs to be something that energizes you. It’s for recreation, not just recreation.

Join a choir or learn an instrument. Buy a sketchbook and start sketching, or try a pottery class, or a writing group.

Notice and challenge the voices in your head and what they say as you dare to put your creative needs ahead of “being a good mother/daughter/partner”.

Aren’t you being selfish?

No way. One of the best things you can do for the people you love is to model how to live a creative, productive, fulfilling life.

Some practices for releasing your creative self in this challenge are:

• Take some time to remember the best times of your childhood – what were you doing?
• What did you get compliments for when you were younger?
• Make time to explore galleries and museums and see what catches your interest.
• Write in a diary or journal, or try writing poetry or short monologues.

This last challenge may very well be the hardest one – to give yourself permission to take the time to be joyfully creative. But it’s one of the most profound ways to love yourself.

Are You Ready to Start Living Your Best Life?

Remember: We can never be truly happy unless we love ourselves.

But we are creatures of habit, and we will never get the results we want in life unless we break our bad habits and form new ones that will get us there.

So make loving yourself a habit.

If you’re not feeling like you wished you felt in life, if you’re sad and tired, if you’re not in glowing health, and yet not motivated to act, then it’s time to transform your internal wellbeing regime.

Take the Love Yourself Challenge and build a set of habits and practices to create a better life for yourself – a richer, more productive, more meaningful and joyful life that empowers you to be your best self.

Live your dreams, don’t give them all up to make sacrifices for others. We, women, do that all too often – in caring for our families, kids, parents and communities – we sacrifice doing the things we love and want to do most. Without thinking or planning, we even sacrifice the time to take care of our mental well being or focus on truly loving ourselves.

You are special. You are beautiful. And you are worthy of being loved.

Give yourself permission to have the things you truly want and deserve, to be all you can be.

To live the life of your dreams. And love yourself every moment of it.